Even more than this team, I heart finding AMP/DB's little black diary unattended
while they have a 20-minute pregame circle jerk. OK, so actually Flav found
it, but it was Christmas morning for both of us. Satan and her Legal Counsel
scampered off to desecrate their sacred diary and giggle incessantly. To the
best of my memory here's what we came up with.
Page 1:
In the next page after their last game tracker (score, who played how many points),
we entered the results of our game before it was even played. Germ Circus won
35-2, but it wasn't the usual roster for our opponents. Santa, Jesus, Nipsey
Russell (only played 1 point because he's black), Charles Nelson Reilly, Canniff,
and Oprah were the notable players.
Page 2:
Buried about 15-pages back, we transcribed Knappy's brain waves into a truer-than-true
diary entry, paraphrased thusly:
Dear Diary,
Yesterday I finally got my first menses. I'm so proud to finally call myself
a woman. I heart Pat and his Jewfro. If he throws some of his fun throws today
I may just plotz.
Knappy
The diary was returned to their sideline with them being none the wiser. Until
later.
The rest of the weekend was almost as much fun.
SATURDAY:
"Thanks" to our Shirtless Tournament Director, we had 5 games on Saturday.
In retrospect, it couldn't have worked out any better. We went 5-0 and had a
bye in the first round Sunday morning.
Game 1: GC 13 - Fission 3
We shirked our typical slow start and rolled these guys as a great way to start
the day.
Game 2: GC 13 - Philly Swillers 12
The STD did help us out with this one, as I requested that we play these guys
in hope that we could give them a little payback for the Ommegang incident.
The Swillers were finishing up a hotly contested game against Animal, so we
sauntered over to watch. Spicer made one of worst calls since Chris Gaines by
calling "up" on a disc that he "caught" after it was "buried
in the earth and dug out by using a small spade". Big Rick & Bonfanti
got into it, though Rick's threat of using Bonfanti as a toothpick seemed to
end the discussion.
As for our game, it was quite windy and upwind points were huge. We traded upwind
points in the first half, so we were getting the disc to start the second half
with both teams essentially holding serve. We got a couple of upwinders and
were up 12-10 with a hard cap of 13. We let them score 2 in a row to set up
a Universe Point, with us going upwind. After a couple of turns, including a
layout D by Pretzel, we finally punch it in for the hard-fought win.
Vengeance Wins, just like Vengeance Sex is so much sweeter than the regular
kind of either.
Game 3: GC 13 - Love Bomb 5
We came out flat after the last win, so LB kept it much closer than it should
have been. We did right the ship, and had some fun, including my one-handed
hammer catch on the run, right in front of our bench.
The other "highlight" included Goose immediately tapping the disc
in near our own goal line after a huck from basically the other goal line. Even
though it was never in and our sidelines (and myself, who was on the mark) was
screaming at the top of our lungs for him to bring it up, he blithely tapped
it in and gave up some where between 60 & 70 yards of field position. Awesome.
Game 4: GC 13 - A glass door 8
When I said at the start of the day, that we had at least 4 winnable games,
I didn't include this one because I didn't know who the hell they were. Apparently,
they're half of a NJ team, that was using the tourney for tryouts. As it turned
out, we had 5 winnable games. We got out to a big lead thanks in large part
to our large woman advantage and survived a mini-run by them in the 2nd half.
Game 5: GC 11 - Animal 10
The kegs were tapped, and the sideline had hecklers, all the ingredients for
a fun game were there. We got out to an early lead somehow, but the game tightened
up soon after. Neither team was exactly putting on a clinic, unless the clinic
was entitled How to Throw Crappy Backhands Into the Wind, with myself as key
note speaker. I did get to cut Josh from our practice squad after a particularly
egregious call he made on Mikey. Another Universe Point, and another victory
over a Philly team.
An incredible day for Germ Circus. 5 wins, including 2 over teams from Philly.
We were ranked 4th (using the MARS ranking software) going into the last game,
but somehow slipped to 7th after beating Animal (strength of schedule is a big
factor). Out of 24 teams, that's pretty damn good. And we were temporarily bumped
up to 3rd based on quality of team name.
SUNDAY:
Game 1: AMP 11 - GC 10
We should have first-round byes on all Sundays of all tournaments. It's nice
to get some sleep and breakfast before ever touching a disc. After the final
rounds ended up on Sunday morning (while we were eating eggs), our final ranking
was 6th, which meant another game against DB/AMP, our third in a month or so.
After the aforementioned diary heist, we were in a good mood. Which of course
led to a 4-0 start by AMP (which, according to Pretzel, stands for Anal Maggot
Piñata), including a full spike by Snader after making a nice grab for
the 3rd point. Always classy, that one. Some measure of revenge was exacted
when I scored, ran to their sideline where Snader was, started to spike it,
stopped before it hit the ground, and then ran down the line, shushing them.
They took half 8-3, we played MILK, we started coming back, blah, blah, blah.
First cap went on and it was 11-7. We scored the next 2, to get to 11-9, and
then unfortunately, the second horn blew during that point (in which Snader
broke Marie right after a questionable "up" call on a dive by TBag),
so even though we scored to make it 11-10, the game was over. I would have loved
a chance to get to Universe Point again, but it wasn't meant to be. If you use
DB/AMP as a measuring stick, which is appropriate since they've been the best
team in the area, we have come a long way, baby. We've never even given them
a tough HALF until this year, now it's 3 losses by a total of 6 points. We're
going to beat them. It's not a matter of if, but WHEN. They do not think they
should be losing to a bunch of a-holes like us.
We closed out the weekend with some spirited games of MILK and heckling the
Semis & Finals. I'm too spirited to mention the fact that I won 2 of the
3 games, thus adding another notch to my MILK belt.
Great weekend guys. Next up, Ommegang!